offended

Offended.

A word that my husband has vehemently banned from our household.

People seize opportunities to become offended at the drop of a hat.

Mainstream media latches onto a public figure's words and the crowd goes wild.

Rifts are formed for decades following a ruthless argument between friends or family.

Most catastrophic of all is the widespread belief that Christians are some of the most judgmental, most easily offended people.

And sadly, for some, this is true.

But this is not God's intention for us.  As Christians, we have two biblical obligations in this arena.

The first is to ensure that our speech is thoughtful, free from provocation and insult.

"Pleasant words are a honeycomb, 

sweet to the soul and healing the bones." - Proverbs 15:24

"Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt..." - Colossians 4:6

"A man who lacks judgment derides his neighbor, 

but a man of understanding holds his tongue." - Proverbs 11:12

The second, and equally important, responsibility we have is to forgive one another.  We forgive, because he forgave us.  C.S. Lewis once said, "I think that if God forgives us we must forgive ourselves. Otherwise, it is almost like setting up ourselves as a higher tribunal than him." The same applies to forgiving others.  Seventy times seven (Matthew 18:21-2). Period.

"Be completely humble and gentle; 

be patient, bearing with one another in love." - Ephesians 4:2

"Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. 

Forgive as the Lord forgave you." - Colossians 3:13

"A person's wisdom yields patience; 

it is to one's glory to overlook an offense." - Proverbs 19:11

That isn't to say that we should allow those we love to sin. Conversely, we are called to lovingly point each other in a Godly direction.

"Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, 

you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently." - Galatians 6:1

"If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. 

If they listen to you, you have won them over." - Matthew 18:15

So, while we are called to make sure we are taking care with the words we speak, we are also implored to be, essentially, "unoffendable."

Our ultimate example carried his cross to Calvary with nary a word to his adversaries.  And with Christ's power in us, we can take note and rise to his standard of behavior.

Pause before speaking when someone throws a well-constructed insult or slur.

Hold your tongue when a family member casts the bait.

They may just be stressed. Or tired. Or hungry. We can all certainly relate.

when the answer is no

When one season of waiting for deliverance rolls into another without relief.

When, even though you believed the best, the diagnosis is dismal.

When you've been rejected for something - or by someone - again.

Heartache on this earth is real.  It's raw, with jagged edges that cut. It's often ugly and wildly unpredictable.  It's not tied up with a neat little bow as in a work of fiction.

And sometimes, it's the last story we'll be a part of on this side of eternity.

Sometimes God's answer to our prayers is, simply, no.

Many of us demand explanations. Why, Lord?

Instead of asking why, try asking him what can I learn?

Sometimes God doesn't change our situation because he's more concerned with the condition of our heart than with our circumstances. If it's going to shape us to be more like Jesus, you can be assured he'll likely allow it into your life.

Sometimes he needs us to completely abandon any semblance of control to which we're clinging.

And sometimes, he simply needs us to know that this earth is not our home.  

We yearn to be fulfilled by the things of this world, while it just wasn't designed to be so.  

He is the answer. The only answer.

Don't throw in the towel yet. Continue to lean into him.  

If the only answer you're getting is no, it's for a good reason.  Perhaps it's simply, not yet.

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though inwardly we are wasting away, 

yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day." - 2 Corinthians 4:16

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, 

for my power is made perfect in weakness." - 2 Corinthians 12:9