humble pie

When I was a little girl, my mom would paint my nails from time to time.  She would take my little hand in hers and tell me to relax it.  I didn't understand the concept in the beginning, so she would lightly flop my hand up and down to get me to loosen up and go limp.  My hand needed to be malleable in hers so that she could move it the way she needed.

As I sat in church yesterday morning, it dawned on me that this is a perfect metaphor for our relationship with the Lord.  My husband and I had just had a small spat, and I was indignant in the car in the tense silence on the way to church.

I prayed, "Lord, humble me and help me to release my selfish pride."  But Satan was onto me, and countered with,

"But he snapped at you!  He's so self-righteous.  He was in the wrong, too.  Change his heart."

And I kept coming back with, "I know I need to release my anger and bitterness, Lord - change my heart."

And you know what?

The homily our priest spoke COULD NOT HAVE BEEN MORE PERFECT.  He discussed how we often let our moods and external circumstances color our interactions with family.  HA!  The holy spirit gave a hard blow, and I immediately thought back to when my mom would attempt to get me to relax in her hands.  Sheepishly, I praised the Lord for changing my heart and making me realize that when I was asking to be humbled, I was wallowing in my own righteous anger.

You cannot attempt to justify your sinfulness in prayer to God.  IT DOES NOT WORK.  You can't change someone else's actions or mind, but when you come to the Lord humbly, he will work in you.  We can only be responsible for our own actions, thoughts, and behavior.  We have to surrender completely and relax, giving the problem to him, so that we can get out of his way for him to do his work.  In order for him to work in us and in our lives, we must be completely malleable in his hands.  This means:

We cannot try to explain away our anger from yesterday.

We cannot say, "I'm sorry, but..."

We cannot ask for forgiveness while seething in anger about something else.

Obviously, as humans, we struggle with letting go completely and giving it to God.  I believe we need to first examine our own part in the matter, while simultaneously asking for a change of heart.  Recognize your need for God's mercy, and allow yourself to be malleable putty in his hands.  Only then will his grace abound and he can begin to work for our good in accordance with his will.

Relax your hand in his, and let the father do his job.



"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." - Ephesians 4:2

"But he gives us more grace.  That is why Scripture says:  "God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble."" - James 4:6

"For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted." - Luke 14:11

"If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and heal their land." - 2 Chronicles 7:14